Welding Tips and Tricks

So, we have all encountered it. As soon as we mention that we are welders, or work in welding for a living, there is always some 'know it all' type of guy who has a story about his welding days, etc.

So, my question is, what lines do you hear from people when you mention that you are welder?

My personal favorites are the guy who tells me his "welds don't look good, but they hold". (Uh, sorry buddy, but if it looks like crap, it probably is).

Not a guy, "but a know it all girl"

At dinner, it came up that me and my brother bought a stick welding machine.. And this girl, who had a MIG welder, said this beautiful sentence: Pfft, stick welding is for amateurs. MIG is for the professionals.

She was serious. We didnt even think about arguing

Kentweld wrote:Not a guy, "but a know it all girl"

At dinner, it came up that me and my brother bought a stick welding machine.. And this girl, who had a MIG welder, said this beautiful sentence: Pfft, stick welding is for amateurs. MIG is for the professionals.

She was serious. We didnt even think about arguing

Ha Ha, well it seems I must've been getting it wrong for years.

I COULD NOT have contained my laughter.

Great share!

My favorite, is about 2/3 of the time the prospective employee will tell me (s)he is a "bit rusty" with TIG, when it becomes immediately obvious they don't have the first F--ing clue.

Steve S

Giving test's to a bunch of guys one time - told this one guy the TIG torch was all set up you just have to turn the gas bottle on. First thing out of his mouth was " Is a torch striker in the booth?" And another one busted out .

Years ago, a friend of mine who is general engineering machinist and a really excellent 'all positions' stick welder was asked if he could work for a short stint at a caravan manufacturer. The requirement was that he could run a MIG.

The only problem was that he'd never used a MIG in his life.

He rocked up for the job, told them he was a bit rusty on MIG and might take a while to get the hang of it. The gave him some test pieces, which he welded flawlessly. "I thought you were a bit rusty" they told him. Your hired!

TRACKRANGER wrote:Years ago, a friend of mine who is general engineering machinist and a really excellent 'all positions' stick welder was asked if he could work for a short stint at a caravan manufacturer. The requirement was that he could run a MIG.

The only problem was that he'd never used a MIG in his life.

He rocked up for the job, told them he was a but rusty on MIG and might take a while to get the hang of it. The gave him some test pieces, which he welded flawlessly. "I thought you were a bit rusty" they told him. Your hired!

That's funny - when I trained my kid to weld, he did oxy/acetylene, then stick, then tig - then I let him try Mig (2 years later) he said "well this is easy!"

Mig is easy ( compared to TIG...)

I daren't put any pics of my welds up here - I'd hear the laughter all the way back here in the UK!

A mate of mine ( who is actually an aerospace chemical bonding engineer ) taught me to stick weld ( and then re- taught me how to mig weld) his line was:-

This welding comes with a guarantee - if it doesn't hold, bring it back and I'll have another crack at it!
( but his welding was always flawless)

I remember my metal shop teacher in High School (long long time ago) had a saying when he finished a weld....Guaranteed not to rot rust bust chip crack peel or come apart at the seams. He would rattle that off so fast.

Kentweld wrote:Not a guy, "but a know it all girl"

At dinner, it came up that me and my brother bought a stick welding machine.. And this girl, who had a MIG welder, said this beautiful sentence: Pfft, stick welding is for amateurs. MIG is for the professionals.

She was serious. We didnt even think about arguing

Kent, I didn't think I could be surprised; or at least not surprised to this degree! I MUST tell this one to the students ... but I think this comment is the all time winner!!
(I guess the young lady thinks TIG welders are just zombies??)

"You waste so much time with the amount of cleaning you do."

"You don't need to clean aluminum."

"You don't need to waste time clipping the ends of your filler."

Those are just a few of the things I hear regularly.

zank wrote:"You waste so much time with the amount of cleaning you do."

"You don't need to clean aluminum."

"You don't need to waste time clipping the ends of your filler."

Those are just a few of the things I hear regularly.

Sometimes you just have to smile and nod... And hope you never have to ride on anything they welded

I got told by a guy, that eventually got sacked (twice) that "if you haven't got time to di it again, you better get it right the first time". Thing is, he was the single worst welder I have ever seen. The welding inspector banned him from repairing his own welds, because he would only make them worse.

Mick

From Weldin' Mike: "The welding inspector banned him from repairing his own welds, because he would only make them worse."

I mean ... I just can't stop laughing at that!! OH shoot ... LOL!

He cut a swathe of poor quality across the project.

Apparently there no such method as dragging a mig gun

Short circuit gets better peno then spray.

Oh and that I should have the tip recessed at least half inch.

Drifta-X wrote:Apparently there no such method as dragging a mig gun

Short circuit gets better peno then spray.

Oh and that I should have the tip recessed at least half inch.

Some folks will tell you that you need to 'drag rod and push wire' ... other folks will tell you that you need to 'drag rod and drag wire' .... isn't it a drag thinking about all of that?

weldin mike 27 wrote:He cut a swathe of poor quality across the project.

That's a good one Mike, I shall wait patiently for an opportunity to use this line...

It's very strange, my company has a reputation steeped in quality, for years they were the best and most capable welders around, and then go and hire dolts and ate very very reluctant to sack them. Even when the evidence is clear.

weldin mike 27 wrote:It's very strange, my company has a reputation steeped in quality, for years they were the best and most capable welders around, and then go and hire dolts and ate very very reluctant to sack them. Even when the evidence is clear.

That probably started about the time the company instituted the Human Remains, oops, " Resources " dept .........

And it's probably staffed by women.

On an Ethanol plant, I was doing a lot of structural with 7018, and building conveyor transitions with 308 MIG. We naturally had to cover all the wire trays with fire blanket to protect them, and were careful and thorough about it.

A young "first field job" electrical engineer assaulted me about this practice, wanting to know why the hell we weren't using that "spark-less rod" the pipe guys were using.

I wanted to explain it, but he stormed off before I could quit laughing.

Steve S

A tradie told one of our apprentices to go and get some anti shake tablets.

weldin mike 27 wrote:A tradie told one of our apprentices to go and get some anti shake tablets.

I have some of those.

Too bad they'd show up on a drug test...

Steve S

It's funny, until you realise, as you said, that there is more than likely, many kinds of those things available

Otto Nobedder wrote: A young "first field job" electrical engineer assaulted me about this practice, wanting to know why the hell we weren't using that "spark-less rod" the pipe guys were using.

I wanted to explain it, but he stormed off before I could quit laughing.

Steve S

I assume that the pipe guys were soldering/sweating copper pipe? Or was that TIG?

Either way, baby engineers can be amusing to watch, especially if they do eventually come to realize that school does not necessarily match up with what goes on to make things work in the real world.

Part of my job is initial process review and prototype assembly after our mechanical engineers dream some product up. Some of the time I catch things just looking over one's shoulder by chance, while still in CAD.
(eg: a toothed belt driving a pair of rollers, all fine and good. That is, until you take into account that the two rollers are supposed to be spooling sheet goods from one roll to another, constantly varying rotation speeds because of it, and the toothed belt will not allow any differential of speed...)
Other times it's an adventure to explain why carefully planned assemblies that miss how design tolerances stacking at the fabrication shop can stack, may not work...

Enough of that though, back to the entertainment of "Shop wisdom"!